in my bag

Nov. 14th, 2010 11:18 am
rkt: (eyecon.mirrormask)
so much for being on a roll.

but let's keep trying this. i'm going from memory because the bag is over there and i am over here.

keep in mind i'm such a grandmother at times.

in my bag i have:

a ziploc containing: some hair bands; roll tube carmex; dryell pen; tide pen; pack of cinnamon trident gum; safety pins; dental floss; 2 pads. allergy medicine.

also in the bigger bag

a small altoids gum container containing random medications including migraine medicine, ibuprofen gel caps, more allergy medcine. up until mid last week: pepto pillls which i removed because they kept shedding all over the tin and other pills.

a copy of this article on ptsd and child hood trauma, kinda slamming the dsm processes.

a book chapter for a presentation i'm supposed to do on tuesday on group therapy.

my wallet.
a small brush.
some random papers.
a half 99cent bag of chips.

some loose change.

my camera with pics i need to put up on fb.

peel my love like an onion by ana castillo


that meme )
rkt: (mortimer)
some people are believers. i am not one of them. i am the doubter and questioner. the one who asks why why why?

you know that "if everyone jumped off a cliff, would you?" question? i never understood it because no. i wouldn't i'd stop and try to figure out what the fuck was going on, first. maybe this would mean getting et by the big bad wolf. maybe this would mean i wouldn't fall into the lion's den or snake's pit. so my belief in a big giant god type person being is a bit complicated.

i mean, i guess there might be a big giant being that sits back and watches shit go down. it's actually easier to believe that zie doesn't have control, because if they did, they'd have to be seriously sadistic and i'm happier believing in a non-sadistic being than a sadistic one.

also, there might be nothing up in the sky but air.

and maybe not.

i also don't believe in karma. looking around the world, it doesn't add up enough. and there is so much inbalance. there might be incarnation. there might not. souls might exist. they might not. again, these are great things to think about, but i live now and my actions are based on the tangible of the past, future, and present in this now.

but i Am a dreamer.

today would have been jim henson's birthday. when he says: When I was young, my ambition was to be one of the people who made a difference in this world. My hope is to leave the world a little better for having been there. is so spot on.

i try not to hurt people. this is not always a success, but it's the goal. i do want to make the world a better place, if only one little corner of it. corners make blocks which make cities which grow from there. we can do this.

i don't believe that prison, and certainly not the death penalty, are the answers to solve "the crime problem". i know that taking care of citizens will drastically that. people will still always break the law. prison as a retribution is asinine. prison as rehabilitation at least creates a potential for change.

people's bodies are their own. criminalizing drug use when others are not affected just creates criminals. fetuses are not people. i'll consider giving you pre-people. not really. but i can pretend. but they are not people. nobody should be forced into carrying a fetus around in their body for almost a year.

my beliefs on guns/control is again, murky. i think NYC goes OD on their gun control stance. i think that like drug laws, gun control laws disproportionately affect certain, disempowered, segments of society.

my cynicism is only eclipsed by my ability to choose to believe in change. as much angst as humanity gives me, i do believe in people. most of the time, anyway.


that one meme )
rkt: (heart)
this is really more a "thoughts on love" than a "definition of love"

so love.

love. love. love. love.

what is love?

it's not lust, which often masquerades as love.

it's not a sense of completion by the other person.
it's not a need to never be apart.

it's not lying or dying for someone. (sorry, bryan adams!)

but then, again, what kind of love are we even talking about here?
love for friends? love for family? love for a significant other? love for objects? love for objects of our affection?
things get tricky when you try to break it down.

romantical love can absolutely be a drug.
but so can companionship. some folks just can't stand to be alone, so it gets blurry.

love isn't someone being nice to you. although, love can do that for you.

i'm not sure anyone really knows what love is. some cycle in and out of it faster than others change their bed sheets. and sure, that's a type of love. but again, what type of love are we talking about here?

in part, i blame my parents. they're an easy enough scapegoat. they were madly in love until my dad died. and my mom never stopped burning the torch for him, despite a not brief enough marriage after my dad died. and as torn apart as my mom was my dad's death, i know my dad would probably have been just as bad, or 'worse'. and what's the point in all that? why invest in so much to lose so much of oneself ? i've found myself well enough and am quite grounded, so maybe this is a false fear. i don't know.

blaming my parents is silly, really. but it's fun.

love is in the little things. and the big things. and the in between things. it's being able to stand being together, and being apart. love is being open to love.

love.

that one meme )
rkt: (pound.tic.penguin_chaos)
Using only episode names from one TV show, cleverly answer these questions. Try not to repeat an episode title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "My life according to [ Arrested Development]

cut because i'm also putting this on the FB )
rkt: (mass turbation)
You Are Cowboy Boots
You are incredibly down to earth and happy with yourself. You don't pretend to be someone else.
You also tend to be very practical. You don't really have a lot of room for fluff in your life.

You are a very honest and direct person. You will give anyone a straight answer, even if it's a bit uncomfortable.
While you're quite sensible, you always like a little bit of flash in your life. You don't overdo it, but you do like turning heads.
rkt: (purplecrayon)
[Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 (or some other number of) people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)]

You are all tagged.

1. Facebook confounds me. (They don't even consider "facebook" a word.)

2. I still keep coming back anyway. I'm sure they have a word for that.

3. I have latent non-asthma related breathing issues.

4. They become more apparent when I try to swim.

5. I say "try" because I am engaged in lessons. Never mind the tot-class before me has members who can outperform me.
cut to spare your f-list )
rkt: (skull)
ah, it's been another year of lj-ing. and, copying [livejournal.com profile] hope_persists, i present to you the end of year meme, where you post the first couple lines from the first post of each month, and look back. none are filtered, but some are f-locked

january
Ahem.
NYE was fun. I didn't even come close to getting kicked out. (Though, this could have been because I didn't even come close to being in a position conducive to such. Le Sigh. Cattyshack is better than Luna Lounge, if for no other reason than the 80% of the crowd isn't fatally hip.


february
for as much as i otherwise might complain that my body hates me, when my stress levels are peaking, my body kicks my ass to the curb to re-center.
and i come out of it all well.


march
return of the movie meme- now with answers (AND IMDB links*!)


1. "How many times do I have to tell you? You don't put a bra in a dryer! It warps!"



3 down, 9 to go )
rkt: (heart)
from [livejournal.com profile] armchairshrink

Leave me a comment and I will reply with at least one reason why I like you or one thing I like about you. If I feel I don't know you well enough for that, I'll tell you why I like your LiveJournal or, at least, why I added you as a friend. You must pay for the privilege by posting a message like this one on your LiveJournal (unless, of course, you already did)."
rkt: (corner)
controversy meme from [livejournal.com profile] xmorningxrosex

[01] Do you have the guts to answer these questions and repost as The Controversial Survey? no.

[02] Would you do meth if it was legal? control issues would lead to a no.

[03] Abortion: for or against it? Safe, legal, affordable, and covered by all insurances (throughout the pregnancy).

[04] Do you think the world would fail with a female president? i'm pretty sure the world has survived with a female president/leader in other countries. if by "president", you mean "president of the USA"? , um, let me go and watch the news and see how we're doing with a dude for a president and then i will get back to you. why do people always have to play the gender card?

[05] Do you believe in the death penalty? i don't even believe in prisons.

and more! )
rkt: (Default)
at least 2 of you have done this already. i'm surprised certain ones of you haven't jumped on the wagon yet, already.

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment here at www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results.
mmmmm foood )
rkt: (planet f-cut)
i feel like there are a lot of other posts i could be making right now. however, i'm not.

so you get a meme instead.








What Planet Are You From?


this quiz was made by The Autist Formerly Known As Tim


oh memery

Jun. 12th, 2008 02:18 pm
rkt: (Default)
from hope_persists


lolling. i never posted the 1930s house spouse meme. but this one also makes me lol.

Your Boy Side

[x] You love hoodies
[x] You love jeans.
[x] Dogs are better than cats.
[] It's hilarious when people get hurt.
[x] You've played with/against boys on a team.
[x] Shopping is torture. With the possible exception of Grocery shopping.
[] Sad movies suck.
[] You own an X-Box.
[x] Played with Hotwheels cars as a kid.
[x] At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
[] You own a DS, PS2 or Sega.
[>] You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers. (i'm giving myself a half-point for Voltron obsession.)
[] You watch sports on TV.
[x] Gory movies are cool.
[] You go to your dad for advice. (well, i did)
[] You own a trillion baseball caps.
[] You like going to football games.
[] You used to/do collect baseball cards. (while i chased the po-lice to get them, it was more about the pestering than the collecting. no point awarded.)
[x] Baggy pants are cool to wear.
[] It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
[x] Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
[x] You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
[] Sports are fun.
[x] Talk with food in your mouth.
[x] Wear boxers.

Total: 13.5

Your Girl Side
[] You wear lip gloss.
[] You love to shop.
[] You wear eyeliner.
[x] You have some of the same shirts in different colors.
[] You wear the color pink.
[] Go to your mom for advice.
[x] You consider cheerleading a sport.
[] You hate wearing the color black.
[] You like hanging out at the mall.
[] You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
[] You like wearing jewelry.
[] Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
[] Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
[] You don't like the movie Star Wars.
[x] You are/were in cheerleading, gymnastics or dance.
[] It takes you around 1 hour to shower, get dressed, and put on make-up and accessories.
[x] You smile a lot more than you should.
[] You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
[] You care about what you look like.
[] You like wearing dresses when you can.
[] You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
[x] You wear girl underwear.
[x] Used to play with dolls as little kid.
[] Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy of it.
[] Like taking pictures of yourself with your cell phone/camera when you're bored.

total: 6

tv meme

Apr. 4th, 2008 11:46 pm
rkt: (Default)
from [livejournal.com profile] bike4fish

Empire Magazine has revealed its list of the "50 Greatest TV Shows" ever. Below is the list and here be the rules.

1. Bold the shows you've watched every episode of
2. Italicize the shows you've seen at least one episode of
3. Post your answers


50. Quantum Leap
49. Prison Break
48. Veronica Mars
47. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
46. Sex & The City


45. Farscape
44. Cracker
43. Star Trek
42. Only Fools and Horses
41. Band of Brothers

40. Life on Mars
39. Monty Python's Flying Circus
38. Curb Your Enthusiasm
37. Star Trek: The Next Generation

36. Father Ted

35. Alias
34. Frasier
33. CSI: Las Vegas
32. Babylon 5

31. Deadwood

30. Dexter
29. ER
28. Fawlty Towers
27. Six Feet Under
26. Red Dwarf

25. Futurama
24. Twin Peaks

23. The Office UK
22. The Shield
21. Angel

20. Blackadder
19. Scrubs
18. Arrested Development
17. South Park
16. Doctor Who


15. Heroes
14. Firefly
13. Battlestar Galactica
12. Family Guy
11. Seinfeld


10. Spaced
09. The X-Files
08. The Wire
07. Friends
06. 24

05. Lost
04. The West Wing
03. The Sopranos
02. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
01. The Simpsons


i've seen parts of some of these, but didn't include them. and many of the solitary episodes were watched in the company of another, more often than not, with added commentary.
rkt: (Default)
return of the movie meme- now with answers (AND IMDB links*!)


1. "How many times do I have to tell you? You don't put a bra in a dryer! It warps!" [livejournal.com profile] leodios Hedwig and the Angry Inch

2. "How do you shoot the devil in the back? What if you miss?" [livejournal.com profile] burntherich (and [livejournal.com profile] twofeetcia) The Usual Suspects

3. "Look at this! "Baby Born with Two Heads"... must be from Brooklyn." [livejournal.com profile] twofeetcia Newsies

4. "If I wasn't a transvestite terrorist, would you marry me?" [livejournal.com profile] thinlikestick Breakfast on Pluto

5. "I know a doctor who might be able to help you." Edward Scissorhands

6. "Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler... " [livejournal.com profile] kaygigi Office Space

7. "You're an interesting species. An interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams, and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable, is each other." [livejournal.com profile] bluebuckeye (and [livejournal.com profile] twofeetcia) Contact

8. "I'm proud of my geekdom, God dammit!" Foxfire

9. "More people will come if they think we have punch and pie." [livejournal.com profile] twofeetcia Southpark

10. "It's hard being a man. And it's difficult being a woman. But the most difficult thing is trying not to forget who you really want to be." Beautiful Boxer
rkt: (counterfeit.ad_noctum)
thus far, there has been no immediate need for anyone to get/be hurt. which is a good thing. updates may or may not be forthcoming. in the meantime, another meme.
i've long accepted that i am Very Bad Lesbian. (i mean, ignoring the oft-used definition of a lesbian being a womanseekingwomen, and my issue with the 'woman' label, as applied to me.)
and so
started by [livejournal.com profile] leodios the GoodLesBiGay/BadLesBiGay meme.

i'm also leaving off any self-congratulatory aspects of lgbt-ness that frustrate/anger me.
eta: this posted too fast from the computer i was using. but also adding in that stereotypes below may be white-lgbt centric.



This meme is designed to be fun. It is designed to look at what we, as a collection of communities, know to be conventional attributes of our respective cultures. And it's for LGBT-identified folks only. Straight people, I love you, but this is a private party.

List three ways in which you are "conventionally" or "stereotypically" LBGT.

1). i'm frequently heterophobic. i mean, i like straight people and all. some of my closest friends are straights. but, yeah.

2). the body-acceptance thing

3). an affinity for leftist (sic) politics

List three ways in which you feel you DO NOT fit in with the conventions of the LGBT community.

1). i like neither softball nor rugby.

2). i own no power tools.

3). even without the allergies, i'm not into owning cats or dogs.


i blame my parents for not setting good examples of normative straightness for me to measure my queerness against.
rkt: (image)
movie meme from [livejournal.com profile] bluebuckeye

A. Pick 10 of your favorite movies.

B. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.

C. Post them here for everyone to guess.

D. Italicize when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie. (Striking out makes it hard for people to read.)
i'll repost with answers in about a week

1. "How many times do I have to tell you? You don't put a bra in a dryer! It warps!" [livejournal.com profile] leodios Hedwig and the Angry Inch

2. "How do you shoot the devil in the back? What if you miss?" [livejournal.com profile] burntherich (and [livejournal.com profile] twofeetcia) Usual Suspects

3. "Look at this! "Baby Born with Two Heads"... must be from Brooklyn." [livejournal.com profile] twofeetcia Newsies

4. "If I wasn't a transvestite terrorist, would you marry me?" [livejournal.com profile] thinlikestick Breakfast on Pluto

5. "I know a doctor who might be able to help you."

6. "Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler... " [livejournal.com profile] kaygigi Office Space

7. "You're an interesting species. An interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams, and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable, is each other." [livejournal.com profile] bluebuckeye (and [livejournal.com profile] twofeetcia) Contact

8. "I'm proud of my geekdom, God dammit!"

9. "More people will come if they think we have punch and pie." [livejournal.com profile] twofeetcia Southpark

10. "It's hard being a man. And it's difficult being a woman. But the most difficult thing is trying not to forget who you really want to be."
rkt: (skull)
dear f-list:

i know i just posted, and this isn't to put down death or suicide as being something other than serious, but heath ledger's untimely demise is not the only thing happening in the world today.

i guarantee it.

and, also

Oct. 22nd, 2007 11:46 pm
rkt: (image)
borrowed...


HowManyOfMe.com
LogoThere are
2
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?



if i recall correctly, she lives in california.

this is good, because a). there can be only one, at least nearby. and, b). dopplegangers keep putting their pics on the internet and c). real live folks apparently not only share my first name and birth month, but also my general life path.
rkt: (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] a_girl5000's Halloween party:

_m0rbiidcandyy dressed as a fork.
a_girl5000 dressed as a help desk department chairman.
allinwonderland dressed as something lime, but what, specifically, you can't tell.
alucardo dressed as the Governor of Missouri.
amyannosu dressed as Captain Kirk from "Star Trek".
androgy8 didn't dress up, spoilsport.
armchairshrink dressed as the President of Mauritius.
awfulpoetry didn't even show up and doesn't get any candy.
azad_slide dressed as a ghost.
badlysocialized gets drunk, strips naked, and somehow emerges dressed as the main character of "Back to the Future".
belladonnalin dressed as a linebacker for the Giants.
bike4fish dressed as a new superhero: Element Cyborg, and it suited them disturbingly well.
brienf dressed as a character from Harry Potter and the Conjurer of Hammond.
burntherich gets drunk, strips naked, and somehow emerges dressed as the Duke of Kalata.
enekobus dressed as the love child of Harrison Ford and Anna Nicole Smith.
flowed forgot to put on clothes!
god_dot_com dressed as a 1990's grunge child.
goodlookinout dressed as Optimus Prime.
hardvice dressed as Ronald Reagan.
hope_persists dressed as a ankle.
hothead dressed as James Madison.
jadedjade dressed as Tom Cruise.
jane_ire dressed as a EastLtd. employee.
jaxxizzle dressed as a rabbit, though it looked more like a scaly witch.
jellykarma dressed as the Submerged Power Ranger.
jwz dressed as a new member of the Wu-Tang Clan, Intellectual Dominator.
kaygigi dressed as a rust goblin.
kornrowchic dressed as the Archbishop of Mead.
lawlesslawyer dressed as a disturbing self-made character called "Buttercup Monkeybrain".
leodios dressed as your grandfather.
liveavatar dressed as Mary-Kate Olsen with her very own conjoined Ashley.
ljablogger forgot to put on clothes!
mad_hater dressed as a lampshade.
mangofandango dressed as Jay Leno's grandmother, though it looked more like Thandie Newton riding a giraffe.
maryam dressed as Gwyneth Paltrow riding a rabbit.
myljfriends dressed as a stiff flood.
mystic_toxicity dressed as a bottle of Roxvance.
peaceofpie dressed as a rabbit.
pedantic_cat dressed as Tiffani-Amber Thiessen.
poko_fister dressed as Michael Jackson.
theirish dressed as Julia Stiles.
thinlikestick dressed as Dan Rather.
twofeetcia dressed as a witch.
xmorningxrosex dressed as a Level 14 ranger.
yakkette dressed as Squidward.
zosiablue dressed as Daria, and it suited them disturbingly well.
rkt: (rights)
this is how it works: comment on this entry and i will give you a letter. write ten words beginning with that letter in your journal, including an explanation what the word means to you and why, and then pass out letters to those who want to play along.

R-

Rhubarb. whip it into jams or pie and it's scrumdiddlyumptious. i grew up on the shit. but don't eat it Raw!

Rump. some people's are better than othes. this is just a fact.

Responsible. something i hope to pretend to be better at someday. for now, life just moves.

Revolution. it will not be televised.

Rye. as in bread. as in my breakfast yesterday was rye toast, 2 eggs (fried over easy), home fries, and sausage. $3.00. yes, this was in manhattan.

Ray/s. the sun and i do not get along. it's not my fault.

Read. my favourite hobby. everyone should read.

River. a body of water. i like bodies of water. i'm drawn to bodies of water. but that's another story to tell.

Rage. (see also: roar). some people call this "bitching". but, really, rage is that which fuels many of my fires. this is not a bad thing.

Reject. noun or verb? as noun would be me. as verb would be mean.

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